Hello! Hey, it’s Me.

S.T.R.E.S.S.

I’m not really one to stress.  Sure, I get the usual short-term stress, like when both my kids are melting down at my feet while I’m trying to cook dinner and they are both screaming that the other bit/hit/pushed/touched him/her and that they are “HUNGRY.  STARVING.  FAMISHED” but I can’t even move from the stove to the fridge without tripping or stepping on someone…yeah - that’s a stressful moment.  But it passes, and all is well.  I don’t tend to hold onto long term stress - the kind that wakes you up at night and consumes your brain and makes you gain 10 lbs.  That’s just not my style.

Until now.

I’m stressed.  I feel the pull of the deep blue ocean of anxiety rolling over me.  I can’t do anything productive.  I think about the issues that are stressing me out all the time.  I want it fixed.  NOW!  But I am stuck.  Stuck in Stress.  So yeah - I’m a crappy blogger right now.

So here’s the deal…effective mid-October, Chris’ long term disability kicks in, and his salary is significantly decreased.  What really bites about this is that the ONLY reason he’s STILL out of work is because the worker’s comp insurance company SUCKS and hasn’t gotten him a second opinion from a doctor in TWO MONTHS!  I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have him here, but we both want this crap resolved!  So that’s like two weeks away.  So in two weeks (two more paychecks), we will effectively be losing our mortgage payment each month.  Yeah.  Stress.

So I’m going to go back to work full time.  I’m pretty darn excited about the idea of that to be truthful.  Chris is going to be a stay-at-home-dad while I am the work-out-of-the-house-mom.  It’s a flip-flop, and it will take some adjustment.  But I feel OK about it.  I NEVER wanted to put the kids in a daycare setting - that’s just not our style; that’s what kept me from ever returning to work up until this point (well, that and the boob-monsters’ affinity for nursing).  But I’m confident that Chris will be an excellent SAHD.  And I think he’s looking forward to it, too.

But - the stress…finding a job.  My “deadline” is November 1, but even that will give us a period of time with half-pay.  It takes so stinkin’ long to get a job, though!  I’ve been applying and applying, and have found two “dream jobs” that I fantasize about these days.  Unfortunately both won’t even start interviewing until mid-October.  So in the meantime, I wait…and wait…and wait…  I don’t really want to teach right now - the flexibility is nil, and I think it will be harder with the adjustment of losing control.  But I *need* a job!

AND my grandmother isn’t doing well.  She had a pacemaker inserted last week an is having a hard time recovering.  She was sent home, but less than 12 hours later readmitted.  She was put on a ventilator for a period of time.  The ventilator was removed, and a few hours later she was reintubated.  She’s doing “OK” now, but not great.  We just have no idea…

That’s life.  That’s the scoop.  I promise to put up some new photos soon.   I did take one or two at the beach…I think…