Hello! Hey, it’s Me.

Feeling Blue

Yesterday my grandmother was removed from life support. She is sustaining life on her own at this point, but that is short-lived. So now we are waiting.

The emotion comes and goes, sometimes at the most inopportune times. My husband is wonderful! I can’t even think of a better word to describe him right now. He’s rolling with my emotional punches and is staying on the wave - who could ask for more?

My grandmother and I were quite close. In recent years (particularly since Colin had been born), I hadn’t been able to talk to her as much as I had in the past, but I still managed to call her regularly and jabber with her until child-led-WWIII would start breaking out. I recently found a typed letter I wrote her many years ago while in college. I was quite amusing back then! I could picture our telephone conversations that led me to write her the humorous and newsy letter from abroad. I have happy and vivid memories of spending summer-time with her as a child. I remember her garden, her huge lawn, the myriad of cats who lived on the back stoop, the crab-apple tree (and the taste of sour apples - yuck!), the way the floor creaked when you walked into the house, the little mailbox on the front of the stone house (the mailman actually brought the mail to her front door! That never ceased to amaze me as a child), the crystal candy dish that sat over the patched bullet hole on the coffee table, the way the telephone cord stretched all over the main part of the house; I remember her rubbing lotion over a sunburn that my cousin “allowed” me to get the summer I was 10; I remember her love for jewelry, and how much she loved to share it with me; I remember brushing and plaiting her long, black hair, and the underwear she used to wear on her head to keep her plaited bun in place while she slept. I can still picture her standing at the little sink washing dishes with her soft hands and perfect fingernails. Oh, and her love for ice cream! We’d eat ice cream twice a day at Nannie’s house!

I already miss her.